humpty dumpty

“When he went to prison he at least knew when it would be over. I’ve had to under-go the painful transition from unrequited love, to prisoner to now simply captivity all in the name of love.” The best way to describe the downfall I would compare it to a person carving an ice sculpture who has a mishap and carves away a chunk in error. A few minor mishaps with your hands can cause irreparable damage. Over time I’ve had to withstand the chipping away one betrayal after another does to a person. At first you barely notice but after enough mishaps you start to not recognize yourself. I’ve been stabbed in the back so many times I feel like a pin cushion. The human spirit can be resilient but after so much betrayal there’s no possible way to walk away unscathed. I’ve had enough of me chipped away I’ll never be able to humpty dumpy myself back together. As I look back on my life I’m pained by all the years I wasted. The most recent I invested everything- spiritually, emotionally, financially and with all my heart. Over eight years – gone. And nothing to show for it but hundreds of lies, betrayals, unworthy women, prostitutes, evictions, tens of thousands of dollars invested with zero return. Before that I kissed 5 years away on an addict millionaire who paid someone to kill my son and I. Before that – 3 years gone…my cost for those 3 years was the ultimate price – my youngest son was stolen away by my now ex-husband.

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